"Our most painful suffering often comes from those who love us and those we love. The relationships between husband and wife, parents and children, brothers and sisters, teachers and students, pastors and parishioners - these are where our deepest wounds occur. Even late in life, yes, even after those who wounded us have long since died, we might still need help to sort out what happened in these relationships. The great temptation is to keep blaming those who were closest to us for our present, condition saying: "You made me who I am now, and I hate who I am." The great challenge is to acknowledge our hurts and claim our true selves as being more than the result of what other people do to us. Only when we can claim our God-made selves as the true source of our being will we be free to forgive those who have wounded us." (Henri Nouwen) On the cross Jesus knew he was the beloved Son of God. What people were doing to him or saying about him, did not changed the truth of his identity.  Rather than blaming his detractors and persecutors, he chose to act from his true identity and to forgive them from his heart. Once we can embrace our true God-given identity as the son or daughter of God, once we can embrace the cross with Jesus and choose to forgive rather than blame, we will be set free to be more fully who we are.