"Our most painful suffering often comes from those who love us and those we love. The relationships between husband and wife, parents and children, brothers and sisters, teachers and students, pastors and parishioners - these are where our deepest wounds occur. Even late in life, yes, even after those who wounded us have long since died, we might still need help to sort out what happened in these relationship. The great temptation is to keep blaming those who were closest to us for our present, condition saying: "You made me who I am now, and I hate who I am." The great challenge is to acknowledge our hurts and claim our true selves as being more than the result of what other people do to us. Only when we can claim our God-made selves as the true source of our being will we be free to forgive those who have wounded us." (Henri Nouwen) The blame game doesn't change anything. Underneath all the scars and wounds inflicted upon us by others is the true person of worth, made in the image and likeness of God. If a gold bar is encrusted in mud and grime is cleansed, then the true identity and value of the bar is recognized.  So it is with each of us. The scars of the past only hide our true identity, they don't determine this identity. Forgiveness is the cleansing agent that makes the difference and frees us to be who we are in the eyes of God.