Sometimes when God shows us the "thorn in the flesh" it is for us to realize that we can't of ourselves do anything, except cry out to God. God will not remove it before we deal with it in our weakness. We have refused to forgive, we have held on to the situation, either out of guilt or needing to hold the other under some control. We have exercised power of control, now we need to exercise the power of weakness by forgiveness. "My grace is enough for you, for in weakness power reaches perfection." "And so I willingly boast of my weaknesses instead, that the power of Christ may rest upon me." (2 Cor 12: 9)  In my pride  I refuse to forgive, but in the power of Christ I can and choose to forgive. I want to be free. In surrendering I become free. The paradox!